Bothering the Bleach Cast
by Kana090
Summary: Each person has a weak spot, and that is what I intend to exploit. Maybe a little OOC, and I am taking requests for who's next. Rated T because. So far it's Hitsugaya, Byakuya, Yachiru, Matsumoto, Ichigo, Zaraki, Nanao, Rukia, Mayuri, & Ukitake.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, first fanfic, tell me what you think. Also, tell me who to annoy next, I can't decide, but Hitsugaya is the easiest to bother. Also, if you think I can do better, than tell me so I can change it.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Otherwise I would make it clear whether or not Hinamori and Hitsugaya were brother and sister or not. Oh, and Gin would be a good guy.

Vashmiko27: Gin sucks, he must die

Kana090: Okay, maybe a little true. . . But I feel bad for Matsumoto!

Miko: well she's usually drunk, just take care of it when she's passed out --goes in the corner and laughs maniacally, drawing out plans--

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How to annoy Hitsugaya Toshiro:

1. Call him short.

2. Call him chibi-taichou.

3. Say Matsumoto took his love letter to Hinamori and is showing it to everyone.

4. Have Matsumoto actually steal his love letter.

5. Tell him Kira's drunk and hitting on Hinamori.

6. Tell him Yamamoto-taichou wants him to sing (and dance) the chicken song.

(I don't wanna be a chicken

I don't wanna be a duck

so I shake my Butt!

--clap, clap, clap, clap--)

7. Videotape Hitsugaya singing, send copies to the real world to put it on ebay, send a free copy to Hinamori and send a copy to every captain... for a price.

8. Send him a bear and a note that says, "It's to keep the monster's away at night."

9. Take a picture of him sleeping with the bear. Then sell to the highest bidder.

10. Give the picture to Matsumoto, along with the chicken dance tape.

11. Pour lemon juice onto his sheets and tell Unohana-taichou that he wets the bed.

12. Make Unohana a conspirator, videotape her offering him diapers, then sell copies for a low price.

13. Show the tape to Hinamori and Matsumoto.

14. While he's doing paperwork/on a date with Hinamori, tell Zaraki he thinks he's stronger.

15. Tell him that he is too young to fight, and place a child leash (spirit-represent version, durr) on him, give handle to a drunk Matsumoto.

16. When he and Hinamori start getting serious, wait untill he's in a captain's meeting and burst in saying "Hitsugaya-taichou, you forgot the protection!"

17. Get Unohana-taichou to give him the conversation about "Birds and Bees."

18. Get Matsumoto to give him the talk, while drunk...VERY drunk.

19. Tell Yachiru that Hitsugaya has a closet full of candies that he wants to give her.

20. Tell Zaraki the same thing, but replace 'candy' with bondage equipment. /Vashmiko27: You gotta admit, he just screams Masochist/

21. Give Yachiru all the energy pills you can find and send her to the 10th division to "play". /Miko: Holy crap...run./

22. Give Hitsugaya a pack of Jolt Cola. /Miko: if he's reluctant to drink it, get out your rope and funnel. Videotape, and send to all divisions./

23. Get him to think that Barney and Bob the Builder are actually messages from higher ups that need to be decoded. Get Ichigo and gang to come over and watch, then spread laughing gas throughout the room.


	2. Chapter 2

Hi! I'm back! I know that this is soon, but I'm bored and most of my friends are with other friends or out of the country at the moment. Anyway, I'll try to not spoil anything from the series. So, on with the next chapter!!! Remember to review!

A thank you to Simply Machi, ShinigamiFangirl and Kage of Seiretei for reviewing!!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Otherwise I wouldn't be here.

Vashmiko: That doesn't mean we can't still screw around with 'em. Bwahahahahahahhha (I just had caffeine k? So sue me)

Kana: I don't suggest it, she's murderous on caffeine. I'd rather keep my manga station open. When you have a friend with 260 some odd manga, you DON'T mess with them!

Miko: I so own you.

Kana: Mother, I wish you could help me, but she'd only send you to hell.

Miko: Nah, I'm already planning on kicking out any room-mates when I get down there, no reason to make more work for myself.

Kana: Help. . .

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How to annoy Byakuya Kuchiki:

1. Steal his picture of Rukia's sister, Hisana. /Miko: Not advised: murder WILL occur/

2. Tell him Renji is planing to hurt Rukia. Tape action. (Get Renji drunk for best results.)

3. Steal a love letter from Renji meant for Rukia, change Rukia to Byakuya and let Ichigo find it.

4. Repeat above action 'from' Ichigo, give straight to Byakuya.

5. Give him the same type of overcoat as Kyouraku-taichou.

6. Tell him that one of the powerful clans sent it. Take lots of pictures and sell them before he can figure out that it isn't from the clan members and tries to decapitate you.

7. Tell Yachiru that his hair pieces are actually sugar candy after putting a reitsu-repressent on him.

8. Record effects of above action, make lots of copies and sell them. /Miko: You can tell she's broke huh?/

9. Follow him around and continually ask him if he wants a discount Hello Kitty make-up kit.

10. Get a guy enemy to follow Rukia around and inform Byakuya that there is a stalker present. /Miko: 2 birds with one stone/

11. Tell Ino and Sakura from "Naruto" that Sasuke has confided to him which of the 2 girls he likes better.

12. Follow him around and ask if he wants to be placed in a Yaoi story with Ganju.

13. Tell him that he has a very important meeting, but send him to the fangirls' headquarters. /Miko: Even I shudder at the thought.../

14. Tell him that Ichigo and Rukia have eloped together.

15. Sing the poem, "Roses are red, violets are blue, cherry blossom are girly and so are you." Repeat all day long, but don't blame me when you get the chance to become a shinigami yourself. --hint, hint, nod, nod, wink, wink--

16. Ask for a Bob The Builder bed time story.

17. 'Let' Byakuya have the first bath, then go tell Zaraki that Byakuya wants to fight, imediately. Videotape and sell copies. Make sure Renji and Ichigo get to see it first.

18. Send him a copy of Cinderella and a custom fit dress that come with it, (package deal) including a wand, a crown, and an inhuman amount of glitter. Present them in the middle of the captain's meeting.

19. Get him to read a fanfic called Observations, chapter 4.

20. Tell him Yamamoto wants to make him his succesor, lead him to the 'meeting place' and then set loose his horde of fangirls...and boys.

21. Steal his sword, then send him a bundle of cherry blossoms with a note stating: "I'll give back the sword but it kinda fell apart..."

22. Anytime someone tries to speak to him tell them that he's too noble to talk to such scum. Then tell them that he paid you to do it.

23. Double agent. Tell him that you are doing your best to keep fan girls away, but place a tracker on him and give the receiver to the rabid fangirls.

24. Tell Ichigo that Byakuya was going to force Rukia to marry Yamamoto

25. Ask him if Renji made the scarf for him. (Thank you majestyharpertor for this one!)

26. Call him Byaku-bo. (Name was found in 20 Thousand Leagues' story "Observations".)

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If you have any suggestions they'd be appreciated. Otherwise I'll do Matsumoto next. Or Ichigo. Or anyone else in the Bleach Cast up to Chapter 282 and Episode 132... /Miko: lol, I'm only on like episode 73/.

Oh, and if anyone knows where to watch Bleach the Movie: Memories of Nobody subbed in English, it would be greatly appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

Hi everyone, and thank you to all who have added this story to their favorites and/or reviewed! Much appreciated!

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. I would say awesome things that I would change if I could, but last chapter I promised no spoilers. I don't own Soy-Joy bars either.

Miko: Those things are nasty, blegh.

Kana: Why did you try one? I mean, come on, SOY-JOY?? The name already sounds retarded!!

Miko: I was about to pass out from hunger and that was the only thing Yayoi had. Besides, YOUR the one who eats my kiwi-gummy candies even though they're like crack to you. Seriously, she falls down and lays there laughing for a couple hours, I'm still not sure when she manages to breathe.

Kana: . . . . Least I don't get high off of pop, and I'm not a junk food addict.

Miko: Well pop has caffeine so I've got an excuse, and I'm not fat so it doesn't matter if I'm a junk food junkie!!! NOW, do you wanna keep going or do you value borrowing my manga?

Kana: --Starts bowing and begging for forgivness-- Okay, that's enough, I think people are getting tired of us. ON WITH THE CHAPTER!!!!

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How to annoy Yachiru:

1. Steal all her candy (prepare for death if your found out).

2. Tell her Yamamoto stole her candy.

3. Put an anti-spirit pressure collar on her, tie her to a chair and eat lots of chocolate cake in front of her.../Miko: Get a GOOD spirit-repressent's for this one...maybe a few.../

4. Tell her Kenpachi is a wimp.

5. Dye her hair black. /Miko: Go check if you must, but all the pink-haired characters are crazy hyper. Sakura too, remember her inner-self./

6. If she asks you for candy, say you gave the last piece to Hitsugaya.

7. If she asks you for candy, give her a healthy Soy-Joy bar.

8. Talk to her when Kenpachi's, 'having fun'.

9. Take away her sword and tell her that she's too young to fight.

10. Put her in a nursery.

11. Take her away from Kenpachi. Forever. /Miko: Not advised, death will follow/

12. Make fun of her name. (It was given to her by Kenpachi.)

13. Tell her that the Shinigami Women's Association no longer agrees to have her as the president.

14. Tell her she is too young for candy, and stuff healthy food down her throat every chance you get.

15. Act the mother hen.

16. Tell her the Hougyoku was actually the world's best jawbreaker but Aizen stole it.

17. Tell her Kenpachi doesn't deserve to be a captain. Say he cheated.

18. Tell her that she is a fragile child who's going to be taken away from Kenpachi.

19. Tell her there is no such thing as candy, and for a whole day, destroy any evidence there was ever candy that she would run into, and get everyone to say the same thing. /Miko: You'd better have some pretty good blackmail and/or bribes ready/

20. Tell her the candy factories have been closed down. Forever. (Thanks again, majestyharpertor!!)

21. Tell her that it's Kenpachi's fault.

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Sorry, there isn't as much for Yachiru as the others, she's just too easy going... sigh Anyway, just to let you know, before you leave, reviews are appreciated, even if it's just to tell me who to annoy next. Thank you all for reading! I'll update soon! But first, please tell me whose list to make next!!!!!! Ignore me if you want, I'm going insane from lack of sleep.

Hitsugaya: Ptf, idiot.

Kana: Hey!!! Meanie!! Least I'm not short!

Quatre: But that's mean too...

Kana: Now I'm even more mad at Hitsugaya, Quatre's too nice to be mad at...

Hitsugaya: Oi! Wait a minute, idiot!

Hitsugaya and Kana: --glare daggers at each other, about to go in for the kill--

Gaara: --Goes into a cute, chibified state--

Kana: SO CUTE!!! --Glomps Gaara-- I'll forgive you Hitsugaya-kun!!

Hitsugaya: --Twitch-- Who's forgiving who? And call me Hitsugaya-taichou!!

Kana: --Pulls a laser out of thin air and zaps Hitsugaya.--

Duo: --Evil laughter. LOTS of it.--

Vashmiko27: SHUT UP! I'm trying to sleep --throws kunai, kills Kana-- Damnit I don't get to help torture the characters if she's dead...--uses beta powers to bring her back--

Kana: NO!!! I WAS TALKING TO SOMEONE!! NOW I'LL NEVER FIND OUT WHO NARUTO'S FATHER IS!!!

Miko: Fine, I'll bring u back when I'm done sleeping --throws remaining kunai and passes out--

Hitsugaya: FINALLY!!!

Duo: SWEET FREEDOM!!!!

Gaara: RUN!! BEFORE THE DEVIL WAKES UP AGAIN!!!

Quatre: But I haven't finished my tea. . . and Mr. Bear wants his sugar.

Blond Bimbo: Yes, of course.

Quatre: Good, here's my credit card.

Blond Bimbo: (FINALLY!!!) Oh, your so kind, I couldn't possibly.

Duo: She DOES know that card will self-destruct right?...

Shikamaru: She's just a bother, don't say anything

Miko: --Wakes up-- WHAT DID I SAY!?!?!?!??!!? --Kills all except Shikamaru-- Kana can bring them back later.

(In order to get why I have this mix of characters, you have to go to my profile... ;)

Kana: REVIEW!!!!


	4. Chapter 4

Hey again. Thanks to those who have added me to favorites, and a special thanks to those who reviewed!!!!! That includes ShinigamiFangirl, imisscalvin, Simply Machi, and Kage of Seiretei! (A/N: I am counting those who have reviewed for the whole story thus far, not just the last chapter.)

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Otherwise, the series wouldn't have made it so far, and if it had, Memories of Nobody would already be subbed in english.(A/N: Memories of Nobody is the first Bleach movie)

Vashmiko27: Yeah, what's up with all those lazy-asses? Get to it already!

Kana: So says the procrastinator. . . ONWARD!!

Miko: HEY!!! Don't think you can run away after that!!!! --locks her in the closet for an hour without access to manga, Kana suffers withdrawl and begs for her Toshiro-- NOW then, you'll get your authoress back later, so READ!!!

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How to destroy Matsumoto. (Wow, I think I'm getting more and more evil...) /Miko: she gets it from me/

1. Take away her sake.

2. Give her paperwork.

3. Set Hitsugaya-taichou on her after she skipped out on said paperwork.

4. Plant on her a specially ordered coller from the 12th division keyed into a special remote. Every time she goes for sake, shock her.

5. Have Unohana make her scrub toilets or some such thing for a week. Unohana's smile can be...persuasive. /Miko: --cough-- Threatening, --cough--/

6. Take her to see the 4th squad about her liver. Give the full report to Hitsugaya.

7. Slip a love potion into her drink that makes her fall in love with Hitsugaya, Ichigo, Zaraki, Byakuya, Yamamoto, Kyouraku or Urahara. Videotape, take pictures of, and record sounds from every second.

/Miko: Kana is foolishly innocent k? She doesn't notice any of the dirty innuendos, so unless I'm saying them, they don't exist/ (Kana: Innuendos? Is that a word? What's it mean?) /Miko:...I rest my case/

8. Anytime she tries to run away from paperwork, wave your blackmail in front of her face. (See #7.)

9. During the next Shinigami Women's Association play the blackmail tapes anyway.

10. Tell Yachiru you will give her a large bag of candy if she watches Matsumoto for a day. (i.e. making her do paperwork, having Matsumoto play with her...)

11. During one of her major hangovers, tell her that last night she got married to Oomaeda Marechiyo, vice-captain of squad 2.

12. During one of her major hangovers, tell her that she married a random soul she met on the street walking home. Say he wants her to know he decided 10 kids would be best.

13. Have the random soul be Ayasegawa Yumichika.

14. Have her in charge of the Karakura district having to freeload off Urahara. /Miko: 'Hint', remember poor Renji/

15. Have Unohana tell her she's pregnant.

16. Tell her the father is Kira.

17. Have Claude transform into Hitsugaya and hit on her.

18. Call her an ugly cow.

19. Hire a guy, and have him tell her that she's ugly, old and boring. /Miko: For best results, use an enemy of yours/

20. Hire 20 guys to do the above.

21. Tie her up and make her watch you use a voodoo doll of Ichimaru.

22. Get her as drunk as possible. Inform Hitsugaya-taichou of her actions when he has a mountain of paperwork (origionally hers).

23. Send her to a nursery. If she can't handle Yachiru, imagine what will happen with a whole horde of them...

24. Set her up on a blind date with Jiraiya from "Naruto".

25. Get her to meet Tsunade from "Naruto". Tell each that the other stole their sake.

26. Replace all sake with water and tell her she was cursed to never get drunk again.

27. Call her flat-chested.

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Yay! On to Ichigo next... he's so gonna die... lol.

Quatre: But what use is more death?

Duo: It's a joke.

Gaara: --still in chibified state-- I'm lonely.

Kana: --Cries over Gaara's cuteness and promptly gives him a big hug--

Hitsugaya: Wow, you really are pathetic...

Vashmiko27: Yeah seriously, she needs to break down and get a plushie of him already. --Hides own plushie of Shikamaru--

Kana: --Pulls out the laser-- Don't make me...

Miko: --pulls Gaara out in front as a shield-- No way you're trying anything now.

Kana: NO!! Hitsugaya! Get a life!! And stop staring at Hinamori. . . YOU ARE MINE!!

Hitsugaya: Pft, yes ma'am. Oh, and thanks for the tips for Matsumoto.

Duo: Such a happy couple!

Three.

Two.

One.

Hitsugaya&Kana: --Punch Duo in the face for such a rude comment.--

Kana: --Zap Hitsugaya with the laser for punching Duo--

Miko: --Grabs laser and zaps Kana for punching Duo-- HE'S MINE!!! Have you never seen him chibified!?!?!?!??!!

Quatre: --Looks sad over the fact that Kana, Hitsugaya and Duo are out cold. Backs away slowly from fuming Miko--

REVIEW PLEASE!!!!! I'LL NEED MORE PEOPLE TO WRITE ABOUT!!!

Next chapter: Ichigo


	5. Chapter 5

Wow, this has taken longer to start than the others... probably because it is so bloody hot out /VashMiko27: What, so now you're British?/, and being this close to a laptop just doesn't help... Oh, and everyone say "Yea!" because I have found my glasses!!! Sorry, had to do that... I think the heat is getting to me.../Miko: I don't think heat-stroke would make much of a difference./

Thank you to all my lovely reviewers, it's much appreciated. I try to reply to every review, but tell me if I miss someone. If I do, I am SO sorry! A thank you to ShinigamiFangirl, phoenix-rises-from-the-ashes, ill-bleachu-up, imissscalivn, Byakuxhisa4eva, p3paula, and majestyharpertor for reviewing!!!!!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. (Wow, this is getting repetitive. Now I know why authors usually hate the disclaimer on this site.) I wish I owned Bleach, because then I would know Japanese and not have to wait for them to sub Memories of Nobody. (Yes, I am very impatient about that.)

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How to agitate Ichigo:

1. Tell him Rukia was executed afterall and his efforts were useless.

2. Tell him that his mother became a soul reaper and is serving under Byakuya.

3. Tell him that Toshiro suddenly became as tall as him, AFTER he makes another "Shorty" joke.

4. Tell him that he's a pervert.

5. While he's out, put perverted magazines/books on his bed or slightly hidden for Yuzu or his dad to find.

6. While he's sleeping, place a perverted magazine on his chest for his dad to find when he wakes his son up.

7. Tell his dad that he's been lifting up girls skirts at school. /Miko: For best results, let Kon actaully do it./

8. Pretend to be his principal when you call about it.

9. Die his hair black, but leave the eye brows.

10. Die his hair pink.

11. Shave off his hair.

12. Send Byakuya a fake love letter from him.

13. Tell Zaraki exactly where Ichigo is and that he said he's got a killer new technique.

14. If he talks in his sleep, record it. Sell it to fangirls and unsuspecting friends of Ichigo's.

15. If it's about Rukia, send her a free copy, and make sure she watches it.

16. Put Kon in Ichigo's body. Videotape and sell as many copies as possible to EVERYONE Ichigo knows.

17. Tell him that Rukia's pregnant.

18. Tell him that he's the father.

19. Tell him that Renji's the father.

20. Tell him that his father is SO much better than him.

21. Tell him Renji and Rukia are engaged.

22. Send him... certain videos... disguised as something else, so he'll watch it. Make sure his father is in the same room. Him waiting for a video to arrive would also be good, as he'll mention it.

23. Switch his bag with his Yuzu's, so he takes hers to school.

24. Put Rukia's "chappie drawing book" in his book bag. Wait for the right moment, and mention it to the whole class. He can't say it was accidently put in there by Rukia, everyone would think that they were going out, and he can't say that they're living together, now can he?

25. Tell Ichigo that Byakuya is making Rukia marry an old fart.

26. Tell Ichigo a hollow took his sisters. (You can't say his father, no one would care. lol)

27. Have him fall asleep somewhere when he's visiting the soul society. Put him in a jail cell. Be crying when he wakes up. Tell him that his inner hollow let lose and the only reason that he's okay is that Rukia died saving him.

28. Have him eat some of Inoue's food.

29. Send him a photo-shopped picture of Zaraki in a pink fluffy dress, make sure he shows it to a bunch of people, then tell Zaraki he made it.

30. Get the people he knows best in the Soul Society mad at him.

31. When he comes for a visit, change everyone's personalities. (i.e. Hitsugaya is a hormone crazed teenager going after hot chicks, Ikkaku is a wimp, Soi Fong like pink and frilly things, Zaraki has Yachiru's personality and vice versa... )

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Wow... I went really far there. Remember to review. Next chapter is Zaraki. But after is... your choice...

Oh, sorry, but for those who like Quatre from Gundam Wing, I know a great story for you! It's called "Amnesia makes the best romance". It's only at the 2nd chapter, but it's good.

Quatre: What's it about?

Kana: You! And a pretty girl...

Quatre: Are me and the girl friends?

Kana: You haven't become them yet... Um... but you will be...

Quatre: YEA!!!

Duo: Man, he's thick...

Hitsugaya: What do you mean?

Duo: ... You'll understand when you're older kid.

Hitsugaya: --Twitch-- Kid? BANKAI!!! --Knocks Duo out.--

Kana: ...

VashMiko27: DAMN YOU!!!!! HE'S MINE!!!!!!!!!!!! --wakes Duo with smelling salts, then knocks him out again-- Much better.

Gaara: ...

Quatre: ... That wasn-

Kana: Just leave it. Just leave it. Gaara?

Gaara: --Turns into a chibi and gives the puppy-dog look at all who read-- Please review.

Kana: SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!! --Glomps Chibi-Gaara--

Hitsugaya: Pft.

Quatre: I feel bad for him...

Miko: Just don't try getting between them, it doesn't matter how much she loves you, it'll hurt.

HItsugaya: I bet I could get away with it. --pulls Gaara away and steps in front of him--

Kana: DEVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! --Pulls Miroku out of Inuyasha and forces him to use the Wind Tunnel on Hitsugaya, then uses authoress powers to reverse time with everyone's memories intact and send Miroku back in time to get slapped by Sango.--

Hitsugaya: --Cowers in the Emo Corner--

Miko: Told you so. I thought you people learned by now not to bet against me.

Kana: REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	6. Chapter 6

Hey everyone!!! I'm sorry that it's taken longer than usual to update, I had some things come up. I hope that I can update several times today. I have characters for this chapter and then 3 after that... I'm happy though that everyone seems to enjoy my -um, not really a story so then list- so much!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Otherwise I would have come out with the subbed version of Memories of Nobody already.

Vashmiko27: We get the point, come up with a new disclaimer already!!!

Kana: But I like complaining. Sometimes. At my house, only I can complain, otherwise it's annoying.

Miko: Yes but I'm beta-ing your story at MY house, so you're comlaining here, and that makes it annoying!

Kana: Yes, but I wrote it at my house, before you even came into the picture. So I win. --bows for forgiveness to avoid manga supply from stopping--

Miko: Nice try, no manga for a week! She'll start suffering from withdrawl long before then.

Kana: But I go to Bleachexile, and they have an online manga reader, as well as many episodes I can watch on Youtube, and I still have summer homework. I could go without for a year. Ha ha.

Miko: Is that a suggestion? So you DON'T want the newest Hana-Kimi for a year? Fine.

Kana: Oh Shit. Back to grovelling.

Miko: Good girl.

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How to irritate Zaraki Kenpachi:

1. Take away Yachiru.

2. Call him weak.

3. Call him a pedophile. (Come on, he walks around with a little girl all day long.)

4. Have him get in a fight, wrap him up in bandages, tell him that he's suffered sever injuries and can never fight again. /Miko: Aww, now I'm all sad thinking of poor Lee/

5. Get someone to hit on him.

6. Get someone to hit on Unohana (assuming that the idea of him liking her are correct.)

7. Tell him Ichigo died. He's not gonna be too happy that he wasn't able to fight him again.

8. Tell him that they are canceling W.W.E.. (World Wrestling Entertainment)

9. Give him enough fan-mail to fill up his entire room.

10. Force him to do Matsumoto's backed up paperwork for the last month.

11. Give Yachiru all the sugar you can find, and send her to the 11th squad. She might not hurt Zaraki, but he'll have a headache with all his subordinates out of commission.

12. Send him to church.

13. Get him to play Truth or Dare.

14. Get him to play "I've Never" (Thanks for telling me the name ShuLynn13!!!!! )

15. Tell him that he's advanced to the stage where he can't find anyone stronger to fight.

16. Dye his hair pink like Yachiru's. /Miko: They'll match! YAY!!/

17. Put him in Yachiru's body, and Yachiru in his. Vidoe-tape his body while Yachiru's trying to find candy. Sell to all captains, Ichigo, Chad, Ishida, etc...

18. Tell him that Unohana taped it, so nobody gets hurt.

19. Tell him Yamamoto wants to meet and fight at a certain time instead of telling him that that is the time and place of the next captain's meeting.

20. Tell him the same thing but with Byakuya.

21. Tell Yachiru you will give her a bag of candy if she can get Zaraki to play dress-up with her. Take lots of pictures and sell them to all captains, Ichigo and 11th squad members.

22. Get him drunk on karaoke night at the bar, and videotape his performance. Do the same thing as above. /Miko: Guys like him usually end up being good at Karaoke, it's weird./

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Okay, um, hopefully no one will try many of these things, or give them to a character. A character death may occur.

Okay! Next chapter, Nanao! Next Rukia, and then Mayuri /Miko: Ick/. After, I will take suggestions again. I'm also thinking of doing a random story or something, now that I know this, at least, is popular. Heck, maybe I'll add a character doing one of my suggestions... hmm... interesting...

Gaara: As long as it has nothing to do with me, I don't care.

Duo: Don't care? Don't care??? How could you Gaara, we'll get to see our mistress torture unsuspecting Bleach characters!!!

Kana: Actually, I was sort of thinking of doing something like truth or dare --eyes glint dangerously-- for Gundam Wing.

Duo: ... Ok, now I'm scared. --cries and begs for forgiveness--

Miko: I actually have some good ideas for that.

Quatre: Don't worry Duo, I'm sure she won't do anything too dangerous... Right? Though I'm not so sure about Miss Miko...

Miko: Heheh...

Kana: Maybe I'll just make you read some of the fan-fictions of you guys...

Quatre: See, Not too bad.

Miko: Go read "Enma's Torment Theater" and THEN try and say it won't be so bad! OH yeah, the author of that actaully started a version with you guys in it. --looks out to readers-- Seriously go find and read that, you can get to it by typing in "RathxThatz" on google, then clicking on a link to Mediaminer and searching for the title. The story DOES have Yaoi, just to warn you.

Hitsugaya: I've read some of my fans' fics... --shudders--

Duo&Quatre:... on second thought, maybe this would be a good time to run for the hills. --Speeds away before author powers bring them back.--

Gaara: At least no one ever dares to write that stuff about me...

Kana: Heh heh, remind me never to let you on to the Naruto section of Fanfiction.

Miko: It seems people's favorite gay partner for you is Rock Lee.

Gaara: --Goes to the Emo Corner-- But those eyebrows, oh the horror...

Hitsugaya: You're pathetic.

Kana: He is not! Have you read some of the worse fanfics out there? There's a reason to fear fans on crack!

Miko: Like you? Oh wait, for you it's my kiwi gummies.

Kana: So? I can still control all the characters in my stories. --Ignores the fact that Miko controls her, wanting to protect her pride--

Hitsugaya: Oh yeah?

Kana: --Makes Matsumoto come out of no where and stuff Hitsugaya into a princess dress, take lots of pictures and sell them to everyone he knows while he stands there unable to move because Kana said so.--

Hitsugaya: NO!!!!! THE AGONY!!!!!!!!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kana: Told you so.

Miko: You'd think they'd actually remember this stuff but NOOOOOOO, sheesh.

Yachiru: Please review, or Ken-chan won't be happy anymore! --Eyes turn into flames-- Ken-chan better be happy!!!!

(Please tell me if these random plays at the end are getting annoying, cause if they are, I'll stop, or if you just hate the fact that the majority aren't Bleach, I'll fix it... maybe...)


	7. Chapter 7

I am SO sorry that I haven't updated yet. I could have had time earlier today, but I didn't bother.

Anyway, a thanks to all my lovely reviewers. If I missed replying, I am truly sorry. I don't really have a reason, I just got lazy. (Runs and hides under the bed). Sorry for any OOCness at the end of the chapter. Also for the fact that the plays are getting as long as the actual chapters... Jeez, I need to write a new story... lol. And if anyone can, could you tell me if I should get rid of the plays. I can't help it... (Smiles sheepishly)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. If I did, I would have the 1st movie of Bleach subbed already.

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How to vex Nanao:

1. Send her captain a "love letter" by "Nanao"

2. Take away her dictionary and replace it with a bunny.

3. Send her to high school. With her captain as her teacher.

4. Pay lots of men, you chose who, to hit on her.

5. Prove her wrong.

6. Make her captain smarter than her right after one of his stupid acts.

7. Videotape her saying she loves books, and saying Kyouraku Shunsui. Use the tape, and make a video of her saying, "I love Kyouraku Shunsui." Send to her captain.

8. Sell the above tape to everyone who has any money at all.

9. Tape her falling over, and claim she's a major klutz.

10. Make her fall onto her captain. Preferably when she's trying to stop him from something. Videotape blushing sequence. Sell to everyone.

11. Get her captain drunk. Tell her.

12. Tell her that Kyouraku is drunk during a captain's meeting, so she'll go in all angry and fuming.

13. Get her to break the rules.

14. Lock her from the library, because of "immature handling of books."

15. Get her to watch Barney, Bob the Builder or Dora the explorer. Ask her to decipher the meaning.

16. Get her to watch Sponge-Bob, though you can't really ask her to decipher it, because there is no point to the series. Ask her anyway, telling her that it is a very important message from a famous family regarding the "Aizen Problem".

17. Videotape her results from her "deciphering". Send to all who take her seriously.

18. Tell her Kyouraku died.

19. Get Yachiru to fire her as the vice-president of the Shinigami Women's Association.

20. Send her squad into chaos. Being the stereotypical teacher, she'll faint from too much chaos.

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Wow, I'm surprised I made it as far as I did. I was really stumped there.

Hitsugaya: Of course you were stumped, as stupid as you are.

Gaara: I wouldn't-

Me: Too late! (takes out laser from earlier chapters, torturing Hitsugaya while laughing evilly. Then I take and rip up his paperwork.)

Hitsugaya: NO!!!!!!!!!!! NOT THE PAPERWORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Duo: Man, he needs to get a life.

Quatre: Thanks. That made me feel SO much better... (disappears under a pile of paperwork.)

Duo: Sorry dude! I forgot about you being a super rich and busy guy! But it's not your favorite thing in the world, so don't worry!

Chibi Gaara: I Agwee. (A/N: Spelled how it's said. Yep. With a funky lisp.)

Me: (Cries) So CUTE!!!!!!! (glomps Chibi-Gaara.) It's okay Quatre. We still love you! And just look at how many fangirls you have! (Glomps Quatre while showing him pictures of all his fangirls)

Hitsugaya: Oi! What about me?

Me: Nobody cares about you. Go away. (Still holding onto Quatre, pulls out a orb, and it pulls Hitsugaya into it.) Yay!! I always wanted a pet! Last time I had a goldfish, it died. (A/N: True, but it took several years)

Duo: I'm scared... MOMMY!

Quatre: Maybe I shouldn't be standing quite so close to her.

Me: YOU ARE MINE!!!!!!!! YOU STAY!!!!!! YOU ALL STAY!!!!!!!!! FOEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (evil laughter.)

Gaara:...

Duo:...

Quatre:...

Hitsugaya: (in a tiny voice) Help me! Help me!

Me: (Ahem) Pwease stay with me.

Everyone: (Looks at each other.) ... (Runs as fast as possible.)

Me: So sad, now I have to chase them...

Hitsugaya: REVIEW SO YOU CAN GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED PAPERWORK!!!!!!!!!!!! MATSUMOTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (A/N: He always yells that...)


	8. Chapter 8

Hey everyone! Sorry it has taken a while to update, my brother bought me a DS, so I've been playing Pokémon diamond for a while. Then I got a Pokémon crazy, and started to watch the old movies we still had and so on and so forth... anyway, busy busy. Oh, and in one night I got halfway through the latest Harry Potter. As emo as the story has been getting, it was still hard to put down, and housework piled on top. Pathetic explanation, but you get the point.

Thanks again to all my lovely reviewers, much appreciated!

Disclaimer: Ith ownth Bleachth notth. ('I don't own Bleach' in Shakespeare. Nor do I own anything else I happen to mention)

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How to give Rukia a heart-attack: (Warning: doing any of the below actions might result in a death of Ichigo over the death of Rukia. (A/N: Yes, if you haven't guessed it, I am a IchiRukia fan.) Or in your death provided by Byakuya)

1. Kill Ichigo.

2. Tell her Ichigo died. It saves you the trouble of #1, but isn't as effective.

3. Tell her that Kaien is a worthless piece of trash.

4. Proceed to give her false information that incriminates Kaien. Such as giving up a sister for dead.

5. Tell her Byakuya broke 11 rules today, each one more important than the rest. She'll faint from shock.

6. Get someone to transform (or similar) into Renji. Have them act like a scared little girl all day.

7. Same thing. But have the Renji-copy try to attack Ichigo.

8. Same thing again. But have the Renji-copy take Ichigo and Rukia to a party or restaurant and, right in front of Rukia, hit on Ichigo.

9. Hire someone such as Matsumoto to hit on Ichigo in front of Rukia.

10. Copy anything that she says.

11. Contradict every bit of advice you ask her for.

12. Call her an old cow.

13. Make fun of chappie.

14. Tell her that you tried to sell her drawings at an auction, but for some reason, they wouldn't sell. . .

15. Tell her that you tried to sell her painting to raise money for the school, but as soon as it was unveiled, everyone threw up. Must've been the Pork. . .

16. Have Renji beat her at knowing about, and teach her a few things about, the human culture.

17. Show her happy tree friends. (A/N: Happy Tree Friends is a comical, yet sick animated show about these cute little forest creatures, bunnies included, where everyone experiences a painful and horribly tragic death. Then everyone is brought back to die again in the next show. Well, not really, just the same characters are constantly dying.)

18. Get her to make a mistake and for Ichigo to correct it. (A/N: It has to have to do with the soul society, or something that Rukia knows more about than Ichigo, such as customs or traditions, or how a certain soul will end up depending on it's state of mind.)

19. Lock her in a room with Ichigo for 24 hours.

20. Get Inoue to do a make-over on Rukia.

21. Tell her Byakuya is getting married again. (Please don't tell Byakuya, or he'll kill me for insulting Hisana.)

22. Send her to flowery love camp.

23. Send her to boot camp.

24. Lock Ichigo in a room with his fan-club. Tell Rukia the location, and to come quick, because Ichigo went into a strip club and locked himself in.

25. Tell her about the Boogie Man.

26. Tell her about Scream.

27. Tell her about Hitsugaya on a sugar rush. (A/N: Ten times more scary, trust me.)

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Okay, I know, it's less than Ichigo's. Frankly, it is harder to make a girl go insane in the space of a day. I mean you could take a full three years on a giant spider infested, deserted island. That would make me go insane, for sure. But in the space of a day, it's a bit more difficult.

Duo: No it isn't. You just need the right props.

Me: That doesn't matter. Even then you only have a limited amount of things you can do.

Duo: Sure, but it's still easy to piss someone off. Watch. Oh Quatre...

Quatre: (Hesitantly) Yes?

Duo: Lookie what I got here. . .( Waves a photo around before showing it to Quatre.)

Quatre: NO!!!!! How did you get that????? THAT WAS A PRIVATE MOMENT!!!!! DAMN YOU, MAXWELL!!!!!!!!!!

Duo: I have a friend who's a friend who's a friend who's a friend who's a friend who's a friend of someone. Yep. I got connections! Or maybe just blackmail. . . Now. you are my slave for a week, or this goes to the press!

Quatre: (faints)

Hitsugaya: Wow, he's weak.

Chibi-Gaara: Pwease review!!!

Me: Glomps all of my minions before signing off.


	9. Chapter 9

Hey everyone. Sorry that it's taking so long to update. I just typed this up, and now I have have to type it AGAIN, because my computer froze. (Screams and hits computer with a metal pole.) Then I got bored and couldn't start again, and I forgot most of my original steps, so I had to think of new ones. . . Anyway, this time it's Mayuri, then Ukitake and Uryuu Ishida.

And as a Heads up, I have now started another story for Bleach. It's an actual story, not a funny list like this one. If you can call something with hardly a plot a story. OOC. AU. Easy (for me). Aizen with a fetish for chickens. Truth or dare. You get the point. You can find the story on my profile, but it's not very good. Only at the second chapter. Oh well. Anyway, ONWARD!!!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Otherwise Mayuri wouldn't be a character of Bleach. No offense, but that guy's not even human. He's just plain creepy. BOOGIE MAN!! Yep, good way of describing him.

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1. Say, "On the pride of the Quincy, I won't do that. On the pride of the Quincy, I will destroy this hollow. On the pride of the Quincy, I will get you your coffee." So on and so forth. All day.

2. Tell him that Nemu just bossed you around. He'll faint from shock. (Wait, a NORMAL person would faint from shock. GREAT, NOW I CAN'T USE THIS!!!!)

3. Give him a fan-girl.

4. Give him a puppy.

5. Get him to read a fan-fic about him. (A/N: Are there any? I mean, he's not a popular character. . . . )

6. Switch him into Yachiru's body and vice-versa. Record, and sell to anyone who hates him. (In other words, everyone in existence.)

7. Give him ice cream.

8. Lock him a room which he can't get out, even in his liquid form, and have him watch as you destroy all of his documents, his computer systems, and let all of his subjects out.

9. Same as above, but don't let him out for weeks.

10. Give him a note from "Urahara", that tells him to meet "Urahara" at a specific spot, as to tell him where he can find the last of a subject Mayuri hasn't studied yet. Send him on a wild goose chase.

11. Same as above, but make him miss something really important. (i.e. Captain's meeting, watching a very important experiment. . . )

12. Interrupt all of his experiments with computerized checks on the weather or activities of other captains that broadcast the news throughout the 12th squad.

13. Same as above, but have it broadcast throughout the court of pure souls.

14. Mess up a secret formula of his, making it explode. Recommended that the explosion be small.

15. Get someone to kiss him. (A/N: I doubt you'd be able to do that, but you can try. . .)

16. For Christmas, give him a present, then whine about how you didn't get one.

17. Ask if he's ticklish.

18. Give Yachiru candy, and sent her to play at the "creepy man's" squad. (12th squad).

19. Interrupt a captains meeting, saying, "Taichou! Taichou! The candy you ordered has arrived!"

20. Mess up his test results.

21. Plant a virus in his computer system, that will pop up, disappear, pop up, disappear, so on and so forth.

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Wow, I'm surprised that I made it that far. . . PLEASE REVIEW, I ONLY GOT ONE REVIEW FOR THE LAST CHAPTER, AND IT MADE ME SAD!!!! Thanks to p3paula for continuing to review, especially last chapter. And to everyone else who reviews. Okay! I think that after this one is Ukitake, then Ishida. Also, I'm having a problem which makes me feel pathetic, but aparently you are only allowed 15 documents. Anyway, if I delete some of my documents, would it delete the chapter of that document as well? Or is it that as soon as the document becomes a story/chapter, you can get rid of the document? Please tell me!!!

Duo: Wow, about now, Hitsugaya would have made a comment about how pathetic you are. Where is he?

Me: In my other fan-fic. I had to kick you guys out because it's a Bleach fan-fic, not a Naruto-Gundam Wing-Bleach-Xover fan-fic.

Quatre: I hope that he's alright.

Me: Hehe, 'COURSE he's okay, why wouldn't he be?

Gaara: For some reason, that makes me more suspicious. . .

Duo: Same here. . .

Me: . . . . . (Takes out a laser and zaps Duo, shocking him, turns to Gaara and-)

Gaara: (Turns into a chibified state.)

Me: SO CUTE!!!!!!!!! (Glomps chibi-gaara.)

Duo: Man, that's no fair, I wish I could do that, then I wouldn't hurt so much. . .

Uryuu: (Clears throat while pushing up glasses-)

Me: WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HERE??????

Uryuu: Umm, about to remind people to review?

Me: GET THE HELL OUT, QUINCY!!!!!!! Nothing against the Quincy, but I just don't like your character after you fight Mayuri.

Uryuu: (sniff) Okay, I'll go now. . .

Me: Good. Nemu?

Nemu: Review, for my father.


	10. Chapter 10

I'm sorry that I haven't updated in a while. School, soccer, school soccer, friends and other stories (not up here yet) have kept me apart, and I'm sorry. I'm gonna go ahead of my beta, so this chappie probably won't be beta-ed till later, so ignore grammar mistakes, or other things she helps me with. Okay, NEXT!!!! (Since you are probably already bored out of your minds and want to kill me for not updating but oh well.)

Disclaimer: Look, if I own the story, I would be super rich and japanese, which would make me awesome, and although I'm awesome anyway, don't get ahead of yourself.

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How to break down Ukitake:

1. Tell Yachiru that Ukitake gives out free candy.

2. Lock him in a room with his 3rd seats for 1 day. (Scoop out whatever is left of him to rush him emergency care in the 4th squad)

3. Tell Hitsugaya to refuse the candy.

4. Dye Ukitake's hair black.

5. Send a fake kidnapping note about Kiyone.

6. Pretend to hurt one of his subordinates.

7. Take away his Shunsui.

8. Tell him he can no longer fight because of his illness, lock him up and tell him that his subordinates are being massacred.

9. Get Rukia to go to the human world, tell Byakuya that she's been kidnapped and that it's all Ukitake's fault.

10. Go up to him all day and ask what an erection feels like.

11. Shave off his hair.

12. Give him a infant as a present. No one can survive the power of the Stinky!

13. Take away his library access. If he's a bookworm like he looks, he'll suffer major withdrawal.

14. Give him a problem (such as you dye his hair blue) and then tell him you have this perfect solution for it. The solution happens to come from Mayuri. . . .

15. Give him a soap opera. (Okay, maybe I'm running out of ideas, but think, he could be overly emotional and start crying 1/2 through an episode. If that happens, you can take photos of it and show it when he's trying to present a slideshow or something.)

16. When he's trying to present a slideshow or something for a serious matter (just not too serious), provide him with a slideshow. . . of his baby pictures.

17. Hire a model to hit on him. (I don't know about anyone else, but wouldn't it be funny if he was a closet pervert? Kyouraku must have rubbed off on him somewhere.)

18. If he is in the process of reading a great book, when he sets it down for something, replace the book with the same book that has the pages replaced with "naughty pictures". Wouldn't it be hilarious if Kiyone found the book?

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Kana: Sadly, I can think of nothing more to annoy Ukitake. Such a lenient man. . .

Hitsugaya: What she's trying to say is that she happens to be watching the original Star Wars to be bothered with being creative.

Quatre: Why does he always overstep his bounds?

Duo: --claps Hitsugaya on shoulder before running away to avoid Kana's wrath-- I would help you but, hehe, I've already learned my lesson.

Kana: That's right, you have. Now, in the spirit of the movie. . . --whips out a light saber, and starts waving it threateningly at Hitsugaya--

Gaara: I think it's time to introduce your new character, Kana.

Hitsugaya: --whispers to Gaara-- Thanks, you're a lifesaver.

Kana: CLEF-SAN! He's from Magic Knights Rayearth, a series I'm obsessed with right now because I can't watch the whole series.

Clef: I don't know when I sunk so low. . .

Duo: Just deal with it. You'll learn.

Clef: I'm too old for this. . . . . .

Kana: Even though you're like 700 years old, you have the body of a child. . .

Clef: Oi! I took this form because it uses less magical energy.

Mokona: Pu!

Everyone: . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Yachiru: REVIEW!


	11. Chapter 11

Crap, now I feel pathetic because my last chapter was rushed, and it just wasn't all that funny. --Sadness-- PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!!!! --Hides under computer desk from angry mob--

Anyway, on to the next announcement.

. . . . . . . . okay, on to the disclaimer.

Hitsugaya: Can't even remember if you have more announcements. . . .

Kana: WHAT THE HELL?? THE TOP PART IS RESERVED FOR ME AND MY BETA'S CONVERSATIONS!!! GET THE HELL BACK DOWN THERE BEFORE I THROW YOU, YOU JACK---!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hitsugaya: --Cowers in fear of Kana's awesomeness--

Disclaimer: Don't. Make. Me. Repeat. If I owned the show, it'd have 100 mary-sues, or it'd never get out on time. Hehe, I'm not a procrastinator, what are you talking about?

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How to destroy the otherwise pure Ishida:

1. Lock him in a room with Mayuri. Recommended very strong fence in-between to avoid death of either. . . . . Wait, what am I saying? Let 'em fight it out. (A/N: As you can see, I'm not particularly fond of either.)

2. Send him his fan-girls.

3. Give him a copy of the magazines you were gonna put on Ichigo's bed for his sister.

4. Record his reaction, and sell to all that know and love him. Since that won't make much of a profit, (A/N: geekno friends. Ooo, I just created a stereotype! Live with it. I'm a geek myself. I'm allowed.) sell to Mayuri documented as "The Daily Nocturnal Habits of the Quincy".

5. Lock him in a room with Inoue for a day. She'll rub off on him, and then his gayness will finally come out. Oh, sorry, meant "happiness".

6. Lock him a room with Ichigo. Enough said.

7. Only allow him to feed on Inoue's cooking for 2 days. Watch him starve himself and writhe in agony.

8. Get him a shinigami uniform, and tell him you thought he'd wanna use it for next halloween.

9. Give him a book on "How To Make Excuses Without Making It Painfully Obvious What Happened." (A/N: Okay, so it's a way to improve himself. Thought he'd need it.

10. Make him watch endless re-runs of the 4-kids version of One Piece. (A/N: Love the series, hate 4-Kids' babying.)

11. Get him on a sugar high. Record and repeat process of selling as Number 4. Change title to "The Daily Happiness of the Quincy".

12. Give him a sugar high Yachiru. Make him spend the day with her.

13. Show him his fan club (A/N: I know he has one somewhere. . . ). Make him spend the day with them and their craziness.

14. Show him his fan club. Then show him Ichigo's. Or Rukia's. Or Byakuya's. Or Hitsugaya's. . . . . .

15. Ask which church he's from.

16. Ask if he believes in the devil.

17. Play a rigged game of Chess with him, so he loses every time. Make bets with him every time. (A/N: Now you can think of anything you want him to do! I can't do everything you know. . . . )

18. Put him on a blind date with Ichigo.

19. Put him on a blind date with Mayuri.

20. Give a love potion to Ichigo so he falls in love with Ishida. Watch the cat-fight that follows with Rukia and Uryuu. (A/N: I vote for Rukia.)

21. Force him to live in a dirty room. (And I don't mean a dirty room. I mean a room where there are some clothes thrown on the floor, everything is a little disorganized, your parents come in and they say your room is a pigsty. That's the dirty.) Make sure he is unable to clean up the room at all times.

22. Give him a "B" in a class of your choice.

23. Make Ichigo beat him grade-wise. Bring popcorn to watch the fight that follows.

24. Record him blushing like mad when a model you hired hits on him. Sell video in the same fashion as Number 4. Keep the video title.

25. Make him sick, and force him to watch as Ichigo claims all the glory.

26. Tell his father he broke the promise never to associate with a Shinigami again, then lock them in a room together.

27. Have Uryuu go 30 days without a needle or thread in sight.

28. Have him wear his costume without his precious cape.

29. Tell Yoruichi that Uryuu wants to confess his undying love to her, but is just too shy.

30. Give Uryuu's love note to Ichigo, not Nemu or Inoue (whichever he prefers).

31. Tell Mayuri that Uryuu and Ishida are dating against his will.

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There were a lot of author's notes during that entire chapter. Wow. And if you STILL haven't guessed, yes, I hate Uryuu, which is why there are so many, because I'd love to torture him.

Clef: I only just met you, and I can already believe it.

Duo: Just wait 'till Miko comes back. That'll be LOTS of fun, heheh. . . . .

Quatre: Duo, it's not good to lie.

Kana: It's not?

Gaara: Ninjas will all die then. Thanks Quatre.

Quatre: Sorry.

Kana: One of my friends can mathematically prove that women are the root to all evil!

Everyone: WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING???????????

Kana: Absolutely nothing.

Duo: Amazing, my buddy Shiro hasn't spoken yet.

Hitsugaya: --eyes glint dangerously-- First, I'm NOT your buddy. --Takes out his soul slayer--

Duo: --whimpers and hides in corner--

Hitsugaya: Second, MY NAME IS HITSUGAYA TOSHIRO! NOT SHIRO!

Duo: --Sits in emo corner, muttering to himself.--

Gaara: Now you know how I felt in chapter 6. Miko really scares me.

Clef: I shall remember to stay out of her way as much as possible.

Kana: Now that you're done being ninnies, the last part?

Umi, Fuu and Hikaru: WE SHALL SAVE CEPHIRO!

Kana: WRONG PART YOU IDIOTS!!!!!!!!! --seethes and has steam come out ears, then glomps Gaara--

Clef: He-

Quatre:--Puts hand on Clef's shoulder and shakes head.--

Clef: --Turns into sexy tall form from OVA--

Kana: HOLY CRAP YES!!!!!!! --ignores Gaara and glomps Sexy Clef, and rambles about a wedding planner--

Hitsugaya: Since those idiots can't control themselves, Mokona?

Mokona: Pu! Pu pupupu! Pu pupu! (Translation: Review! Review for my life! Review for a grown up Sexy version of Hitsugaya!)

Hitsugaya: I AM GROWN UP YOU RABBIT-THING!!!!!!!!!


	12. Chapter 12

I'm feeling nostalgic.

Hehe, I've been (very slowly) rewriting Flames, wind and a struggling student, but I don't even think it's really the same story anymore. Haha, anyway, rewriting it made me wanna do this again too, though it has been like, what? A year? Scary... Oh well, High School will do that to you.

Notice Nanao is mentioned quite a bit...

Disclaimer: I own nothing!! Except everything around me. (Seriously, I'm in my room. I own all this crap.)

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Murdering the flirtatious Shunsui Kyouraku:

Take away Nanao.

Force him into hard labor.

Take away all forms of alcohol. For one month.

4. Put him on a collar that shocks him every time he attempts to flirt with Nanao. (Haha, he'll die by the end of the week.)

5. Get a girl to hit on him in front of Nanao. Record and sell.

6. Tell Nanao that he is lifting girls skirts when he goes to the human world. Bring popcorn to watch the violence that ensues.

7. Get a photo of him kissing another girl, and send to Nanao. Repeat above for popcorn.

8. Have him walk in on Nanao and Isane while Isane is giving Nanao a check-up. Of course, he doesn't know that...

Tell him Nanao is pregnant. Watch the thrashing as he attempts to coddle her.

Tell him he's NOT the father. (haha, he'll go into an emo corner and die...)

11. Deny him sleep for seven nights. Watch as he then proceeds to nap during work, and record Nanao punishing him.

12. Have him read bad fanfics of Ukitake and him, and take a picture of his face. Sell to highest bidder.

13. Have him read bad fanfics of Hitsugaya, then watch as he attempts to make fun of said taichou and is promptly turned into ice.

14. Tell him Nanao died.

15. Tell him Aizen did it.

16. Tell him Ukitake did it.

17. Tell him ways to greet Americans in english such as "hi", but really be telling him to say things like "Nice breasts" or "firm Toush". Videotape the offender, then give to Nanao, who is probably fluent in English.

18. Take away his over coat.

19. Tape a "Come get me girls" sign to the back of his coat.

20. After taping the sign to his coat, lead the fangirls to him.

21. After above action, bring Nanao to the scene.

--

And...! I give...

Hitsugaya: Loser...

Kana: Yuki-hime.

Hitsugaya: HOW THE HELL DID I EVEN GET THAT NAME?? I'M A GUY, DAMNIT!!

Kana: Simple. People think you and Ichigo make the perfect couple.

Everyone: O.o

Hitsugaya: --chin hits the ground, becomes frozen in shock for many years until authoress unfreezes him and brings him back to the present. Promptly hides in Emo corner--

Everyone: Okay...

Kana: Well, I thought they made a cute couple...

Everyone: --back away slowly from Kana--

Gaara: _Must make her think of other things! _--Turns into adorable chibi--

Kana: GAARA!! MY ONE TRUE LOVE!! --Proceeds to glomp-- Hey! I'm a fangirl at heart, ya know!

Reviews will be much loved!


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